


Ghosts that we knew

by smile_it_will_get_better



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Rich, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Michael died in the fire, Or not, Rich Goranski is in love, Slow Burn, but doesn't want to admit it, expensive headphones, ghost!michael, not sure yet - Freeform, rich can see ghosts, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-04 06:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_it_will_get_better/pseuds/smile_it_will_get_better
Summary: Michael Mell died in the fire.Rich was 100% sure of that.But if that really is true, why did he start seeing Michael everywhere he looked? And why did Rich find himself looking forwards to every glimpse or conversation he had with the dead boy?





	1. Give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this first chapter is so rushed and I'm so sorry about that but I just needed to get this idea down. I really love the Rich?Michael ship and I wanted to put a new spin on it that I've never seen before. So this story should get better as soon as I draw out more of a plot for it! Also, it's not that important but Jeremy did have a massive crush on Michael at one point, but he is with Christine during the story so it's not that important to the plot line.

Halloween night was a night of importance and devastation for many. 

Many of the kids stayed up late at some sort of party, drinking, dancing and fucking each other. Some kids stayed home, marathoning scary movies with their family or friends. 

Jake Dilinger's party was one of great importance, half of the school was invited, and anyone who was an anyone showed up. People spent the night laughing and getting drunk, up until Rich Goranski broke and decided to set fire to the place. 

Many things happened after that. Most people got out of the house, calling the fire department and police despite their heightened state, Rich stayed in the fire causing Jake to dart inside to save his life. Both ended up in the hospital in serious condition. Most people would have thought that’s where the story ended. The fire department showed up and put the fire out, the ambulance came and got Rich and Jake out of there and everyone was buzzing about it for days. 

But there was an even bigger tragedy that occurred that night. 

One that wasn’t reported, one that not many people even noticed. 

Michael Mell, resident anti social nerd, ex-best friend to Jeremy Heere and son to Elle and Jasmine Mell, was found in the remains of the house. The death was ruled as smoke inhalation and exposure to fire. 

The funeral was small, just his mothers and some distant relatives, along with a few old teachers. After that, no one really cared. Other than Jeremy Heere and a few whispers at school, about the shy but smart kid in class that seemingly disappeared, but no one linked it to the fire on Halloween. 

No one but Rich Goranski, who learned the hard way what it meant when someone died due to something you caused. 

______________________________________

Rich woke up in the hospital a week after being emitted, Jeremy Heere was sitting at his bedside, his stare cold and unforgiving. 

Rich winced as his burned skin rubbed against the scratchy hospital blankets, looking at Jeremy warily. 

“Um, hey dude?” Rich said hesitantly, hearing no prompt from his SQUIP, and speaking of his SQUIP, where was it? The presence in his mind was gone, making him feel oddly empty and alone. 

“It’s gone. Michael left me a bunch of Red mountain dew when he-“ The other boy suddenly broke, off, looking down at the ground. He swallowed thickly, and Rich was slightly confused. “Either way, the SQUIP is gone. Your free. Just wanted to let you know.” 

Jeremy immediately got up, grabbing a light jacket and walking towards the door. 

“Are you okay? Is everyone okay?” Rich asked, trying to sound braver than he felt. The SQUIP was gone, the Michael kid had saved them all. But did anyone get hurt like him? What about Jake? Rich barely remembered his best friend jumping into the fire to save Rich’s sorry ass. 

“Everyone is relatively fine. I drank the mountain dew after Michaels moms dropped it off for me when they gave me the news. It turns out since our SQUIPs were contacted yours self destructed after mine went away. Jake’s legs are both broken but that was the most serious injury. Well, if you don’t include Michael.” Jeremy’s voice carried off at the end. Leaving Rich even more confused. 

Both of Jake’s legs were broken. His best friend probably hated him, left him homeless and injured, but Rich pushed that out of his mind. That was an issue to angst about later. What about Michael? What happened to him? From what Jeremy was saying, it sounded bad. Was he in the hospital with Rich. 

“What happened to Michael?” Rich was asking before he could stop himself. 

Jeremy stared at him for almost a minutes. 

“You killed him. He came to the Halloween party. Couldn’t escape the fire, and no one was around to hear him. No one went to help him. He left me the red mountain dew, his mom gave it to me after his funeral. I drank it, even if I didn’t know what it was at the time.” Jeremy was almost whispering, tears building up in his eyes as Rich watched. “I-I got to go.” The boy stuttered out before rushing out of the room. 

Rich’s world has stopped. 

He had killed someone. He had killed Michael, who had apparently saved them all. Michael, who used to hang out with Jeremy all the time. Michael who the SQUIP made Rich terrorize every year. Michael who always wore those stupid headphones. Michael who always smiled that stupidly cute smile at Rich when he was in freshman year. Michael who offered him some candy after he caught Rich crying in the bathroom. 

Rich had killed him. 

He wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information. 

He laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling and processing. After a while the tears came, the guilt and hate overweighed every other emotion and Rich sat there for a while. Sobbing over the loss of his own and someone else’s life.

He feel asleep hours later after he had no more tears left to cry for the boy who was nothing but nice to him. 

________________________________

Three weeks later, Rich was going back to school for the first time. 

He was scared out of his mind. He had texted Jake a few times, profusely apologizing as the taller boy assured him everything was fine. 

(He sometimes wondered if he really deserved a friend like Jake, a friend who would forgive him no matter what. His final answer was no.)

He had seen the rumors going around the school, the ones where he ran away to Bombay or some stupid place like that, the rumors where he died, the rumors where he set it because he was pissed at Jake, where he set it because he was gay (which was insulting to his bisexuality if you asked him), and more. 

He walked in through the door wearing a long sleeve sweater to cover the horrid burns up and down his arms, and everyone stared at him. 

He held his head high as he walked through the doors, trying his best to ignore the pounding in his heart. He saw Jeremy briefly, although the other boy just looked at him sadly before walking away. Rich didn’t blame him, he had seen the way him and Michael were towards each other, the other boy had every reason to hate him. 

There was a voice in his head telling him that he was going to fail, that he was back to his pathetic self. But a bigger part of him wanted to be free, to show everyone who he truly way. 

He sat through his first two classes, but barely. He sat beside Brooke, who kept casting him sad looks, and Chloe, who looked torn between hating him and feeling pity for him. He wasn’t sure which was worse. 

He saw Jake at lunch, in a wheel chair but still smiling that stupid puppy dog grin at Rich. 

“How you feeling?” Jake whispered to him when no one was looking. Rich didn’t have the words to say how tired and exhausted he was. 

Everywhere he went was a reminder of his sins, the way the teachers started to say Michaels name before pausing and skipping over it, how the chair Michael always sat in was constantly empty, how Jeremy sat at their table again, and the table the two best friends always used to sit in was empty. Michael was gone, and it was Rich’s fault. 

He kept on waiting for someone to jump out in front of him at start screaming “MURDERER!” someone to glare at him and snarl evil words at him. Because that’s what he was. He murdered someone, and he got away with it because Michaels moms were too emotional to press charges. Because they thought Rich was some suicidal teenager who accidently killed their son in a mistake. 

If only they knew the truth, the Rich went in with taking his own life and ruining as many others along with it. He never wanted anyone to die, but he wanted people to know, to know the pain he was going through, to know the issues that he had to deal with. 

And due to that, Michael lost his life. 

It was Rich’s fault, and he would never forget that. 

_____________________

The next day, Rich went down to the 7-11 after school, the one he always saw Michael going to. The cashier behind the counter knew of Michael when Rich asked, even going as far to ask when the other boy was going to come back. Rich didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth. He left the store, a bright red cherry Slurpee in his hand. He sat down on the park bench, watching people walk past. 

“Great choice of flavour.” A voice rang out behind him, causing Rich to jump up into the air before turning around. 

He couldn’t stop staring for a good minute. 

“You can see me?” Asked a very confused, very much there Michael Mell who was standing behind the park bench, looking very pale, very surprised, and very alive. Then, the figure flicked in and out of view before disappearing. 

What the fuck was going on?


	2. But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this chapter at all because it turned out so much more angsty than I wanted it too, and Rich seems so out of character but oh well, I don't feel like redoing it. Those problems hopefully will resolve itself in further chapters???

After that one occurrence Rich couldn’t help but see Michael everywhere. 

He would walk into Chemistry and see Michael sitting at his usual desk, only for the boy to fade from Rich’s view seconds later. He would see Michael crossing the street, his headphones on and his head bopping along to some music only he could hear. Rich always tried to catch up to him, but the boy always disappeared before Rich could get close. Michael would appear in the 7-11 all the time, either hanging at the counter or sitting outside. 

It took Rich three weeks of constantly seeing him before he got to talk to him again. It was during another run to 7-11 for some reason. Rich had started go there a lot more than usual, for a number of reasons. One, the cherry slushies were to die for. Two, he managed to see Michael there the most. And three, the cashier was super nice and he was glad to have someone to talk to outside of his friend group. 

He walked outside, drinking his slushie and humming to some stupid show tune he had heard in the store. His mood always improved when he was outside, going from the slightly depressed state it was in school to an almost happy one. He searched the grounds like he normally did, and yup, there was a familiar mop of brown hair and a faded bright red sweater sitting on a park bench. His heart started pounding like it normally did, the urge to talk to whatever Michael was overtaking all knowledge he had ever gained from horror movies. 

He wanted to apologize to the boy. About what, he didn’t really have a clue. But he knew if he could get close enough he would find something to say. 

It was fair to say he wanted to know more about why he could see Michael, or well, Michaels ghost or whatever the hell this thing was. He never believed in ghosts as a child, they were just some stupid story to tell kids to keep them awake at night. But it was fair to say that constantly seeing a dead classmate made him a firm believer.

He could only see Michael’s back so far, but he could tell it wasn’t solid. The boy had an almost see through look to him, the particles of his figures shifting and shining like dust in the sunlight. They boy was wearing his signature oversized headphones and bobbing his head along to the beat, and as Rich got closer he could barely hear a soft melody coming from them.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he quickly moved around the bench and sat down next to the boy, barely even looking at him in fear it wasn’t real. 

The other boy simply looked at over him in surprise. 

“You really can see me huh.” Michael said, his eyes narrowing slightly. 

“Uh yeah, not really sure why but I can.” Rich replied quietly, afraid of other people seeing him converse with air. “So, you’re dead huh headphones?” He said, trying to find conversation. 

“Yeah, thanks for that.” Michael said sourly, and Rich grimaced. Probably not the best topic to pick. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered looking at the ground. Why was Michael even talking to him? Rich had killed him, he deserved Michael to scream at him, hit him, make him pay. But Michael was just sitting there, watching him carefully. 

“You’re the only person that can see me.” The ghost said, narrowing his eyes slightly. “I don’t know why, but that’s what happening. So you’re stuck with me for now. Because I want to find a way to move on or whatever. I don’t want to be here, but I also don’t know how to move on. So you are going to help me with that. And then maybe I’ll consider forgiving you for dropping a burning house on my head.”

Rich stared at Michael for a long moment, before Michael suddenly grinned and the smile was so bright and so lively that it made Rich’s heart ache. 

“You tortured me for two years, now its my turn you dickwad.” Michael said, before dissolving into laughter. 

Rich didn’t really get the joke, but Michaels laugh was so goofy and joyful that it made him smile along with him. 

“Sorry about that by the way, I was a complete ass to you and well, half of the school, but mostly you. I would love to blame the SQUIP, but that feels like cheating.” Rich said softly when Michael stopped laughing. 

“It’s fine. I already forgave Jeremy for being an ass, so what’s one more? The SQUIP fucks you up doesn’t it? Either way, it’s in the past and I’m literally dead right now so I don’t think I’m allowed to hold onto grudges or anything like that.” Michael waved a hand in the air, leaning back against the table even more. “Oh, by the way, how is Jeremy dealing?”

Michael looked up at him again, and all traces of humor gone, all that was left was fragile fear and guilt. Rich remembered seeing Jeremy and Michael in the hall all the time, laughing and joking together, the definition of ‘best friends’. Rich took that away from both of them, in multiple ways too. First by giving Jeremy the SQUIP, and now by literally killing Michael. 

“H-he’s not doing the best.” Rich stammered, watching Michael face fall. “But, he’s dealing the best he can. He has so many people supporting him now, and him and Christine are together so he has her to help. And he’s so proud of you man, you saved us all!” Rich was rambling, but he wanted to get that sad look off of Michaels face, wanted to see the other boy smile again. 

“Thanks Rich. Just, look out for him okay? He doesn’t deal with loss well.” Michael asked, and Rich was nodding immediately, it was the least he could do. He would try his best for both Jeremy and Michael’s sakes. He owed it to them to try. 

Michael took a breath, shaking his head slightly before giving Rich a shaky smile. 

“You’re not that bad Goranski. I think I prefer you without a SQUIP.” Michael hummed to himself. “I think I have to go now, talking and appearing is still kind weird to me, I can’t sustain it for long.”

Rich thought that made sense, Rich had watched a couple horror movies, binged a few seasons of Supernatural, all ghosts needed energy to appear right? But Rich had seen Michael almost everywhere?

“Then how have you been appearing to me so much?” Rich asked, a smile sneaking up on him. Michael simply gave him a shit eating grin. “Oh you ass! You terrified me half the time! I thought I was going nuts!” Rich laughed, trying to punch Michael but his hand didn’t meet any surface. For some reason that just made Rich laugh even more. 

He probably looked insane to anyone looking at him, just some creep laughing to himself, but at the moment he really didn’t care. It was the happiest he had been in years, sitting there with a ghost, laughing his head off after learning that said ghost had been fucking with him for weeks. 

His life was seriously messed up. 

____________________________________

Michael didn’t show up for a while after that, and Rich tried his best to stay true to his multiple promises. He got closer to Jeremy, giving the other boy a shoulder to cry on and a distraction. They often went out for lunch together with Jake, down to a pizza place in the mall. They never talked about Michael, the SQUIP, or the Halloween party, but the topics always hung in the air. 

Rich also did a shit ton of research. Almost every moment he didn’t spend in school or rebuilding his relationships with his friends, he was in the library reading these stupid old books about ghosts and demons and witches. Oh boy. 

He learned that Michael could probably only appear for small moments until he gained more power (how a ghost obtains power is beyond him) and that the reason he could only appear to Rich was because Rich was directly involved with his death. And if that wasn’t a punch in the gut every time he thought about it than he didn’t know what it was. 

He tried to find out how a ghost could “move on” if they even could. But there was nothing in the books from the library, and his search on the internet just lead him to fandom wiki’s and kooky old websites that made no sense at all. It was times like this when he wished he had better studying methods. 

He decided to skip school today, for no real reason. He just didn’t feel like going. Didn’t feel like answering Jake who asked if he was okay every time he saw him, like watching Jeremy frown after laughing at a joke like he wasn’t allowed to be happy, like doing his work when he would much rather be sitting in the park with a stupid slushie. 

He just didn’t feel like going to school. 

So like always, he headed down to that stupid store he couldn’t stay away from and went up to buy the cherry drink. 

“You again?” The girl at the front, Lisa he believed, said with a smile as she rang him up. “I swear, you’re singlehandedly paying for my Christmas bonus.” She joked, sliding the drink towards him. 

He softly smiled up at her. “Is it possible to be addicted these things? Because if it is, I 100% am.” He said, place the 1.75$ down on the counter for her.

She laughed at him and pushed back the extra 75 cents he tried to give to her. “Keep it, you need healthy food more than I need my bonus.” Her voice was so soft, so pitying, so nice. He didn’t deserve it, but he decided to take it either way. Because his life had been living hell this past few weeks and maybe it was selfish but he wanted the little bit of that comfort. Those 75 cents that meant that someone was looking out for him. 

So yeah he took that money and left, because he didn’t know what else to do. Didn’t know how to deny her. 

He was used to see the apparition of Michael outside, but what he wasn’t expecting was to see Jeremy sitting by his car, drinking a pop and staring Rich down. 

“Um, hi? Shouldn’t you be in school?” Rich asked awkwardly, not really sure how to start the conversation when they were away from their friends. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Jeremy said with a soft smile, and he didn’t look mad. Why did he keep expecting people to be mad at him? Maybe it was due to the SQUIP still whispering in the back of his head, telling him he wasn’t good enough. 

“Didn’t feel like it. How did you find me?” Rich quickly relaxed, leaning on the side of his car beside Jeremy. He was genuinely curious, Rich never really was the person for cheap convenience stored like 7-11, before or during the SQUIP.

“I didn’t, always used to come here and decided to stop by for lunch. Saw your car and thought I’d wait for you to come out.”

That made sense, if it was Michael’s favourite store, it made sense his best friend would always go there too. 

“I don’t normally skip at all, but I was wondering if you would want to go down to my house and play some stupid video games and talk about some random things?” Jeremy asked, looking almost nervous. Rich would never get why Jeremy wanted to be his friend so bad, but Rich decided he was going to be selfish for the second time in that hour. He smiled and nodded, offering Jeremy a hand to help get up. 

Jeremy took his hand and headed towards the passenger side of Rich’s car, and as Rich was walking around to the driver’s seat, he saw Michael standing across the street. 

He was smiling sadly at the two of them, and he mouthed two words when Rich caught his eyes. 

“Thank you.” Before he flickered out of view, fading into the background. 

Rich drove to Jeremy’s house feeling quite proud of himself. 

He managed to make the bond between one friend stronger and help keep his promise to his new ghostly peer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not my best chapter, not much happens but I swear it has a meaning. The next chapter is pretty depressing because it's in Michael's perspective, so that's something to look forward to. Please leave some comments telling me what you think, it makes me happy to hear what you guys think:)


	3. Silence is golden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually kinda happy with this chapter???

Michael was a generally forgetful person. 

He forgot the dates of tests, forgot which song he wanted to buy, forgot where he was driving when he was in the car, he forgot what day it was, the list of things he forgot was endless. But he remembered lots of things too. 

He remembered what his moms favourite foods were so he could surprise them when they had a bad day, he remembered every move to apocalypse of the damned level five, he remembered the best combination of slushie flavours (Blue raspberry and cherry), he remembered Jeremy’s tenth birthday when they traveled down to the lake nearby. 

He remembered the feeling of smoke choking him. He remembered the feeling of being trapped inside that stupid bathroom. He remembered screaming but no one hearing him. Calling out to his moms in hope that they would magically save him. He remembered the feeling of flames on his skin. Of a burning piece of wood crashing down on top of him. He remembered feeling his lungs fill up in smoke and fire eat away at his skin. He remembered darkness. 

He remembered waking up and sitting in a pile of ashes. It was night, and there was no one around. He remembered wandering around, checking for his phone, trying to figure out why he felt so empty. So wrong. 

He remembered walking home, trying to open the door but for some reason he couldn’t grab the handle. He remembered hearing his moms sob inside the kitchen, but he had no way of getting to them. He remembered screaming for them to open the door, to let him in but they wouldn’t. He sat there for hours, feeling cold even in the autumn heat. 

He remembered learning that he was dead. That no one would respond to his calls. That no one saw him when he ran up and started begging them to listen, that no one heard. He remembered his funeral, watching his moms and relatives cry as his empty coffin was lowered into the ground. 

He remembered following his moms around for a few days until he couldn’t take it, then following Jeremy around as his now unSQUIPped friend wallowed in his sadness. Then he just couldn’t anymore. He remembered wandering down the streets, no destination in mind. He visited his favourite stores, looking at things that he might have wanted to buy. He remembered making small quips about what people were doing, his sarcasm and constant commentary his only way of coping with the loneliness. 

He remembered listening to the people at school forget him. As the few whispers about the weird kid who never showed up anymore died just like him. Until only Jeremy and his new friends remembered him. He remembered feeling so small, so forgetful. He remembered how fucking lonely it was to see everything but have no one see you. 

He remembered every single moment about being a ghost. How the pain and suffering seemed to follow him, how people ignored his sarcastic remarks, how people looked through him. 

Until Rich fucking Goranski suddenly heard him speak, looked up at him and saw him instead of through him, until he spoke and someone responded. 

Michael never had any fondness for Rich, but at that moment he wanted to kiss the other boy. 

Then suddenly Michael felt something similar to a punch in the gut, causing him to double over as his head felt like something was driven deep inside it. 

When he looked back up, something felt off, Rich was looking around in surprise, calling out Michael name in what sounded like fear. 

Something was wrong, Michael could tell that much. If you ignore the pounding in his head, his body felt weird. He never really put much thought into his current feelings the last few weeks, ignoring the feeling of emptiness inside him, but now it was worse. Normally he had a tiny sense of feeling, the cold air brushing through him, objects passing through him instead of being stopped, soreness behind his eyes, but it was all gone now. He felt like he was flouting away, like the last tie to earth was taken away and he was flouting away to space. 

Looking down, he was surprised to see, well, nothing. Where his hand was normally half apparent was now gone. Fully and wholly gone. 

To say he panicked was an understatement. 

He couldn’t see himself, couldn’t tell if he was actually a person or just a flouting thought. A speck in the air that no one could see. No one could notice. 

He didn’t want this, didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to be in this stupid limbo of a world, where the only person who could see him was a high school asshole who killed him. Where his mothers looked through him, where his best friend was ignoring him but this time it was because Michael wasn’t really there. 

He wasn’t there, he wasn’t alive, he wanted it all to stop. 

He wanted to go to heaven, or hell, or whatever happened. He wanted to stop existing, to suddenly disappear because he couldn’t take this anymore. The loneliness, the isolation, the emptiness. 

He was screaming now, sounds rushing out of his mouth and hurling into the air, and only he could hear it. People kept walking around him, kept moving, kept living. And he couldn’t, he couldn’t. 

God he wanted this all to stop. 

Maybe this was hell, making him wander alone for the rest on eternity. Making him watch his family and friends suffer without him, watching them cry and yell at the sky. Watch them beg to a god that they didn’t even know existed to bring him back. But he was there, he was there but they couldn’t see him. Could hear him. He couldn’t tell them how much he loved them, how much he wanted to hug them one last time. 

He was sobbing now, staring down at his invisible body and wishing for someone to hold him or tell him it was going to be okay. He was screaming again, anger overtaking him at the injustice. He didn’t deserve to die. But he was, alone and dead and miserable. 

He wasn’t even sure what the sound coming out of him was now, a mix between a sob and a scream, the noise echoing around him and filling his ears.

He sat there for what felt like hours, the sun had set and no one was around him, but he just sat, staring at the moon as it traveled across the sky. He felt tired, or as tired as he could get. 

A side effect to being a ghost, he couldn’t sleep. He was constantly awake, always watching without getting tired. But now he was, a bone weary tired that sat inside him and leaked into every inch of him. He couldn’t tell where he ended or started, all feeling absolutely gone. 

Now all he felt was loneliness. 

_____________________

It took him two days before he got up from the ground. When he felt strong enough to actually move than his eyes. 

He spent a lot of that time thinking, and he had come to a decision. 

It turns out that Rich was the only person who could see Michael, and as much as Michael didn’t want to, he needed Rich’s help. 

He felt guilty for hating Rich, he knew that the actions of the past few years could be blamed on the SQUIP, but every time Michael thought of forgiving him memories from the years came back. Rich shoving him in the hallways, calling him names, laughing while Michael laid bleeding on the ground. It brought back feeling of fear and anger. Although he didn’t blame Rich for killing him, that was a move of desperation not anger or hate.

But Michael needed him. Because he hated Rich less than he hated staying here. He wanted to “move on” or whatever it was called. He couldn’t survive much longer here, watching people he loved suffer because of him. He had no reason to be here if he couldn’t talk to them, couldn’t interact with them. He wanted to leave them, it wasn’t healthy to stay here anymore. 

And since he obviously couldn’t do any research himself, he tried to pick things up but they just went through him to his dismay, he needed help. And Rich was the only one that could. So Michael was going to find him and force him to help. Maybe unSQUIPped Rich would be more tolerable than SQUIPped Rich. 

But first, just because Michael had nothing better to do everyday than be a little shit, he was going to have some fun with it first. 

So he found where Rich was at almost all times of the day and practiced appearing and disappearing. It was beneficial in multiple ways, he got practice in making himself visible, even if it was only to one person. It got easier to control as he kept practicing, focusing enough to pull his jumbled thoughts and feeling together to form a semblance of who he was before. He also learned how to focus enough to be able to lightly touch objects, like leaning against a wall or moving small objects. It made Michael smile every time he able to do it. It also helped to see how pale Rich got every time he saw Michael sitting in class or standing in a crowd. 

After weeks of practicing and learning how to concentrate enough to make himself fully materialize for longer than a few seconds. Then he tailed Rich for a day until the boy found himself outside of 7-11 again. 

Rich had been going there a lot, multiple times a week to buy a slushie and sit outside and stare at nothing. It was weird seeing Rich, who had always seemed larger than life, sit outside a stupid cheap store and look so small, so unimportant. 

So Michael sat outside and waited. It didn’t take long before he felt the table he was leaning against shift as Rich sat beside him. The other boy was fidgeting, avoiding Michaels eyes and chewing oh his lip. 

“You really can see me can’t you?” Michael said softly feeling proud oh himself for being able to maintain his form. 

“Uh, yeah, not sure why though.” Rich said softly, looking around guiltily like he was expecting someone to jump out and call him out for something. “So, your dead huh headphones?” 

Michael almost smiled at how awkward the other kid sounded. But then again, he was talking to a dead kid, so it made sense it would be a bit awkward. 

“Yeah thanks for that.” Michael said, half joking, half not. It came out sourer than he planned. 

“I’m sorry.” Rich said, finally looking at up him. Michael seriously considered the apology. He felt like he was being truthful, Michael should forgive him. No one deserved the guilt that must come with accidently killing someone. 

“You’re the only person that can see me.” Michael said carefully, wanting to word this the best he could. “I don’t know why, but that’s what happening. So you’re stuck with me for now. Because I want to find a way to move on or whatever. I don’t want to be here, but I also don’t know how to move on. So you are going to help me with that. And then maybe I’ll consider forgiving you for dropping a burning house on my head.” 

It was a lie. He already forgave Rich for that, never held it against him. Michael knew what it was like, to feel so low that there only seemed like one option left. Michael felt like if he was still alive he might have also reached the point of burning down a house with him inside of it too. 

Now all Michael had against Rich was the years of harassment. Michael grinned softly at Rich, causing something to stir inside the other boy’s eyes, Michael couldn’t tell what it was. 

“Your tortured me for years, now its my turn dickwad.” Michael told him cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. He never was one for confrontation. A laugh burst out of him suddenly, it felt good to talk to someone, to joke with someone. 

“Sorry about that by the way, I was a complete ass to you and well, half of the school, but mostly you. I would love to blame the SQUIP, but that feels like cheating.” Rich said softly after Michael finished laughing. Michael felt his heart tear into two. The SQUIP was an asshole. He hated that thing with ever inch of his heart, every inch of his being. Both Rich and Jeremy had suffered greatly due to that thing, and how could Michael ever dream of holding that against either of them? It would make him an even bigger jerk than they were to think that either boy fully wanted what the SQUIP caused.

“It’s fine. I already forgave Jeremy for being an ass, so what’s one more? The SQUIP fucks you up doesn’t it? Either way, it’s in the past and I’m literally dead right now so I don’t think I’m allowed to hold onto grudges or anything like that.” Michael waved a hand in the air, leaning back against the table even more, the wood dug slightly into him, but Michael ignored the feeling. He was happy to just feel something against his skin again if he was being honest. “Oh, by the way, how is Jeremy dealing?”

Michael hadn’t seen his ex-best friend in a while. He trailed Jeremy for a while when his mom gave him the mountain dew red and Jeremy got rid of the SQUIP. But it was too much to see his best friend wander the halls and stare at Michael’s locker. To see Jeremy hold onto Michael’s stupid red sweater and cry into it. 

“H-he’s not doing the best.” Rich stammered, and Michael felt his face fall. Of course Jeremy wasn’t, why was Michael thinking that he would? Even after seeing the effect he had on Jeremy’s life, Michael couldn’t help but believe that the world was somewhat better off without him. “But, he’s dealing the best he can. He has so many people supporting him now, and him and Christine are together so he has her to help. And he’s so proud of you man, you saved us all!” Rich was rambling, trying to make up for the depressing news he just dropped. Michael felt his heart grow some more. Rich was trying so hard to make Michael, some dead anti social loser, feel better. He was trying to make up for his mistakes, learn from them. 

Maybe Michael wouldn’t mind getting to know this version of Rich, no matter how weird it was.

“Thanks Rich. Just, look out for him okay? He doesn’t deal with loss well.” Michael asked softly, and it was true. Jeremy never was one to deal with feeling correctly. He needed someone to look after him, because Michael couldn’t anymore. And as much as that hurt, to have to hand off his best friend to someone else, to have to rely on someone else to help Jeremy, he had a feeling Rich would do a good job. Michael smiled softly at the shorter boy before speaking again.

“You’re not that bad Goranski. I think I prefer you without a SQUIP.” Michael hummed softly, and was surprised to find himself telling the truth. “I think I have to go now, talking and appearing is still kind weird to me, I can’t sustain it for long.”

Rich’s face scrunched up slightly, making an adorable little thinking face. Then his eyes widened and he looked at Michael with a face almost like betrayal. 

“Then how have you been appearing to me so much?” Rich asked, a small smile tugging at his lips for the first time since they started talking. Or well, the first time since Michael had started tailing the poor kid. Michael grinned back at him, the grin that made adults and teachers alike groan and sigh. “Oh you ass! You terrified me half the time! I thought I was going nuts!”

Rich was suddenly laughing, reaching out to swat at Michael but missing as his hand passed right through Michaels body. Then they were both laughing even harder, the absurdity of the situation not lost to either of them. 

Michael could get used to this again, talking to people, laughing with people. 

Maybe this whole ghost thing wouldn’t be that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that we have all that out of the way its just a game of "who will fall in love first" now.


	4. It's just medicine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this in forever because I've had no motivation and I wont apologize for that but I'm so sorry

“Your doing that wrong. You can’t just search up ‘ghost how to guide’ and actually expect something to happen.” Michael groaned, throwing himself back in the wheeled chair he had been occupying, Rich glared half-heartedly at him. Michael had been getting a lot more control over himself in the past few weeks, learning how to actually make himself appear solid, able to touch and interact with objects. He was able to do things like sit in chairs and open things without concentration, but as soon as it came to things that required more concentration he tended to lose the ability. That was the reason Rich found himself in his basement with his computer with a ghost backseat researching.

“Well sorry if I have no idea what to do.” Rich grumbled, not bothering to look over his shoulder. This was their third official research get together (Rich refused to call it a date, despite what Michael said) and they still had next to nothing. 

Rich was a firm believer that this was mainly because Michael spent the entire time staring over his shoulder and making comments, defiantly not because Rich always got tired an hour in and gave up. 

It was just that it was all so depressing, a constant reminder of his massive fuck up. The fact that he killed a kid, a classmate. Learning about how ghosts work, learning how ghosts can do what they can do, all of it made him sad to think of. How lonely was it for Michael? Watching everything without being able to interact with it. No wonder he hung around Rich so much, any company was better than no company. 

“Look, maybe next time we can go to some old dusty library or something? I mean, that’s always where all the creepy stuff on tv is right?” Michael asked, spinning the chair round and round, it made Rich sick to look at so he glanced away. 

“Not sure that’s how it works, but you know what, anything beats sitting around here scrolling through google for hours.” Rich grumbled, slamming the laptop shut and getting up. “My fingers are dead.” He said, flinging himself onto his bed while groaning in agony. 

Michael looked less than impressed. 

“You were only searching for like thirty minutes dude.” Michael sighed, getting up from the chair and wandering slightly around the room. 

Rich watched him closely, still fascinated at the swirling quality to Michael skin and clothes, how the red sweater still managed to look soft and worn out, the patches peeling off? Michael's hair looked soft as well, how did that work? Was it just in the constant state it was when he died? But if Rich remembered correctly Michael wasn’t wearing his sweater or headphones, so why did he have those? Did the after world have showers? Or was it just eternally perfect no matter what?

“Rich? Are you even listening to me?” Michael’s voice cut through the questions, bringing Rich back to the present. 

“Yeah totally. That sounds perfect.” Rich said with a smile, not even sure what the topic was.

Judging by Michael’s sigh, he guessed the situation wrong. Oh well, sucks for Michael. 

“I was just saying I’m going to head out if there’s nothing else to do. Find something to do.” Michael headed for the door, flickering in and out of view for a moment.

“No!” Rich cried out, before biting his lip and blushing. He could almost hear the SQUIP in the back of his head, scolding him for sounding pathetic and like a loser. Michael had turned back to him, a confused look on his face. “I was just thinking, uh, well you always leave so soon, maybe you wanted to stick around? Talk for a while? Or just find something to do?” 

Rich was grasping at straws, but he genuinely wanted to spend some time with the other boy. It wasn’t everyday you got to chance to hang out with a ghost, especially not a ghost that was actually pretty cool. And besides, Michael provided entertainment from what would otherwise be a boring night. 

Over the short time they had spent in each others company, Rich had learned that he didn’t need to pretend around Michael. He could be dorky, could be a nerd, Michael wouldn’t judge. Would get all his stupid references and would never laugh at Rich’s lisp. It wasn’t that way at school, wasn’t that way when his father was around. And Michael was cool too, Rich liked his voice, it was soothing. 

That sounded really gay. 

Okay, thought done and moving on, find a common factor and use it before you get too gay. 

“Video games!” He blurted out, making Michael’s lips tug up slightly. “Jeremy said you like video games? I suck at everything except Mario Cart, so maybe you can help me pass some levels? I heard video games are the new cool.” 

Rich was rambling, something he hadn’t been allowed to do in forever. 

“You know what? That actually sounds like fun.” Michael sat back in his chair, and smiled slightly. “Let’s see how bad you really are at this game.”

They spent hours playing together, Rich attempting to play some stupid game Michael pulled from his stash while Michael sat behind him, pointing out things Rich never saw. With the ghosts help he passed the levels with almost no difficulties, his fingers dancing across the keyboard. Rich was laughing at every comment Michael made, and in return Michael was grinning, his teeth white and almost making Rich lose concentration on the game. 

But soon they reached level five and Rich’s father walked in, announcing that dinner was almost ready. Rich was halfway to asking Michael if he wanted to stay before he remembered. Then all the joy he had felt was overtaken with the guilt and sorrow that had been drowning him for the past month. 

“I guess I’ll get going now.” Michael said with a soft smile, as if he knew exactly what Rich was thinking of. “I’ll be around, don’t forget about next weeks meeting. Be prepared for a field trip.” 

And with that Michael was gone, blinking out of sight almost immediately. Rich knew he was in the room still, probably climbing out the window or some other dramatic ass move like that, but he couldn’t help but feel the loss inside the room. 

It was weird how used he was to seeing the brown-haired boy standing around, sitting in the distance with a lazy smile. 

“I’ll be right down dad.”

__________________________

“Dude, how are you so good at math? This unit sucks.” Jake groaned, slamming his head against the library table. Rich smiled down at him, ruffling his best friends’ hair. 

Jake had a way of making Rich feel happy again. That stupid puppy dog smile and eyes that twinkled with joy. He held so much life, and it was contagious. Rich couldn’t have asked for a better, more understanding, more loyal friend. Rich had given nothing in return, in fact Rich had taken more than he had given, but Jake didn’t hold that against him. Didn’t treat Rich like he was broken. It was refreshing. 

“Comes natural, you just got to enter it into the calculator dude, no need for understanding.” Rich pointed out, tossing Jake his calculator, which he caught effortlessly. “You’ll get it.”

Jake hummed, sitting back up and propping his head on his hand. “You’ve been distracted lately.” Jake said squinting at Rich, who stopped writing immediately in panic. 

“I don’t know what your talking about.” Rich replied, forcing his hand to continue writing. Did Jake somehow know what was going on in Rich’s life? Did he know about Michael? That was impossible right?

“Yes you do. You go to seven eleven way too much, you go to the library almost every day and you hate reading, and you just seem more recluse than normal.” Jake said, counting out every little thing on his fingers. Rich’s anxiety grew, did Jake think he was weird or something?

“I’m fine Jake.” Rich tried to deflect, tried to ignore the truth Jake was spitting.

“No you’re not.” Jake said, poking Rich’s arm. “Is this because of the fire? Because of the SQUIP thing? You can talk to me.” 

Rich looked up at Jake, ignoring the ways tears started forming in his eyes. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you.” Rich muttered without realizing it. 

“Everything man, I couldn’t ask for a better best friend.” Jake responded, his grin growing wider. 

“I burned down your house.” Rich replied, they had had this conversation multiple times, about how the fire wasn’t his fault and Jake was fine. But Rich knew it wasn’t true. Rich had burned Jakes fucking house down, Jake had every right to be mad. 

“And like I’ve said, I hated that house anyways. And you were just trying to deal with a supercomputer taking over your mind. That’s not what’s bothering you.” Jake replied, sighing almost like he was annoyed. “Is this about that kid?”

“His name was Michael.” Rich snapped, annoyed at the casual way Jake referenced him. 

Rich looked up, ready to protect Michael’s honor when he saw the pointed way Jake was looking at him.

Damn, for a jock with horrible grades, he was pretty good. 

“So Michael. That’s what’s bugging you?” Jake asked softly, leaning slightly closer and leaning his head on his hand. 

“It’s no big deal.” Rich said, pointedly scribbling out some numbers on his paper. 

“Yes it is.” Jake countered quickly. “Just tell me, or else I’ll keep on bugging you all night.”

Rich glared at his friend, raising his eye brows at him slightly. 

“Come on dude.” Jake whined, punching Rich’s shoulder. “I can help! I read a whole bunch of articles on how to help people dealing with trauma and grief, wasn’t really sure what was wrong but thought that counts right?” 

Rich stared Jake down again, did this big doof seriously read journal articles because Rich was acting a bit off? He was touched, not like he would ever admit that though. 

“How am I suppose to improve all of this Jake?” Rich asked seriously. “I killed a kid and everyone is pretending like that’s fine. But it’s not. It can’t be.”  
Jake frowned, seeming to process Rich’s small bout of honesty. “I don’t think people are pretending it’s fine.” He said slowly. “People process shock like that differently, I mean, some people cry, some people isolate themselves, some people pretend it doesn’t matter. Maybe that’s it?”

Jake looked at him, smiling slightly, as if waiting for approval. Rich’s heart softened slightly. 

“Thanks dude, I think maybe your right.” 

“Always am.” Jake said, beaming brightly, Rich rolled his eyes. “Now, back to algebra, I think I got this question wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a filler but I promise as soon as I get back into the loop the plot will get running because I have a plan for this story. Other than this horrible chapter, comments literally give me reason to live and I would love to chat with people in the comments, they give me motivation to write :)


	5. NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER SORRY

Hey guys, so this isn't really an update because I just realized that I have two possible ways to end this story. There is still going to be a few more chapters before the end, but I need to decide now on which way it's going. So I'm asking the readers for help, should I make a happy ending where teh find a way to somehow fix all the problems they have (can't say much without spoiling it, but I promise it would be a happy mushy ending) or a angsty ending where they can't find a way to fix it (again, can't spoil but it's sad and it's the original idea I had and it's lowkey inspired by the Goodbye Song by George Salazar so that kind of gives you an idea)

So what do you guys think? I would really love it if you guys posted a comment down below giving any ideas because the story could go either way and I want to know which one you guys would want to read the most.

Thank you all so much, you guys are the best:))

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment on what you think of the story so far!!


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